Deep Sigh.
I've come to a point of pure frustration with my husband. We have a good marriage. I love him. He loves me. He's just been annoying the heck out of me lately.
I consider myself a go-getter. If there is something that needs to be done, I do it... and not put it off, complain, or drag my feet.
Dear ol' hubby is another story. He complains about how he doesn't like to go to work each day. He's constantly late in the mornings because he drags himself around. He stays up SO LATE each night and finds himself struggling to stay awake during the day. He knows that he's addicted to sugar. But, yet, he snorts down Mt. Dew all freakin' day...and cookies and candies, etc. He knows he needs to exercise more but instead he complains about it and then just sits down to watch a movie (he loves watching movies). He gets so wrapped up in his "hobby of the month" that it encompasses his entire life until he finds another fixation to replace it with. Last month, it was with collecting everything Transformers. This month, it is with collecting everything LEGO mini-figs. I've come to accept his nuances and work around it all but lately, it's been really bothering me.
He suffers from general anxiety disorder so I have to be super delicate on what I say and how I say things to him. Again, I do love him and don't want to be a "nag" but gosh, darn it. Sometimes, it gets to be too much.
I'm over here getting up super early each day to workout, clean up the house, and get his lunch and everything ready for him. I work all day and don't complain. I come home, fix dinner, and work on my side hustle (online selling) that helps us with our household finances. Sure, I get tired sometimes but things have to get done so I do it.
I DO IT BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE DONE.
Lately, I've been feeling like he's super lazy. He even took the day off work today after a long holiday weekend just to wait for the UPS truck to deliver his latest purchase that requires a signature.
Our master bedroom and bath have been in demolition mode for over 3 years now. He won't let me hire it out because of the cost. He's more than capable of finishing the job. BUT, he JUST can't seem to get the motivation to do anything about it.
He hit a car this past weekend. He says the other driver swerved into his lane causing him to hit it. No one called the cops. The damage is quite severe on our car so we have to get it fixed. I called this morning to file the claim on our insurance.
I called him at noon today and he was still asleep!
I asked if he could take the car into the shop since he's "off" today but he said he couldn't because he didn't know when the UPS delivery would show up. He also said he couldn't plan on picking up our daughter from school if the delivery hadn't come yet. So, I have to make the time during my work day to go back home to get the car and take it in for an estimate and to also possibly pick up our daughter from school.
So, he's absolutely doing nothing today staying at home. He's not going to have dinner ready for me. He's not going to do any laundry or work on the bedroom project. He's just going to sit and watch movies until his package gets delivered.
If I say anything, then I'm the naggy wife. He says he should be able to take a day off work at times. I'm not saying he can't take a day off when he needs to but I'm just a little fed up with his constant state of laziness.
Sorry, I had to vent. I have no else in real life that I can share any of this with. He's a good guy. He loves his family. I just have to keep telling myself this....... sigh.
Long vent about husband; skip if you want :)
November 13th, 2017 at 05:30 pm
November 13th, 2017 at 06:19 pm 1510597151
His penchant for procrastination is causing rifts, therefore the conundrum. Would you consider. talking to a counsellor about how to live with a procrastinator?
November 13th, 2017 at 07:16 pm 1510600580
November 13th, 2017 at 07:30 pm 1510601430
November 13th, 2017 at 09:02 pm 1510606933
November 13th, 2017 at 09:41 pm 1510609279
November 13th, 2017 at 10:01 pm 1510610460
November 14th, 2017 at 12:56 am 1510620996
November 14th, 2017 at 11:16 am 1510658195
I'd say try having a conversation
November 14th, 2017 at 12:41 pm 1510663268
If it were me, I would arrange to have the bathroom done, whether or not he agrees. If he wants to have a say in it, he needs to be an active participant, not a bystander. Obviously your daughter needs to be picked up from school, but I would look for other activities where you can intentionally "drop the ball" to send the signal you won't be picking up the pieces for him anymore. If he asks why you haven't done the laundry, tell him you've been too busy and he needs to help.
November 15th, 2017 at 02:41 am 1510713698
November 15th, 2017 at 05:07 pm 1510765635
I agree with others who recommend counseling for yourself- you need the appropriate tools in your toolbox so that you don't burn out.
{{hugs}}
November 16th, 2017 at 04:11 am 1510805504
November 16th, 2017 at 12:52 pm 1510836722
March 10th, 2018 at 02:27 am 1520648852